Tales of a Dying Superman

This is a post written Brian Daniel, that I thought was worth sharing.  You can check out his blog by clicking here.  Enjoy the read….I did!

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Small Groupologist Rick Howerton is fond of putting a note of authenticity to what is typically a mundane question when he asks, “How are you doing REALLY?” Recently I had an opportunity to have
lunch with a friend I spent some of my high school and all of my
college years with. Right away I asked him how he was doing, he said
“fine.” There was a pause. The word “really”  hung in the air for a
moment before he added, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think bad thoughts.”

“Like what?”

“Like, ‘I wonder what would happen if I just left.’”

“What do you mean, ‘left’?”

“‘Left’ as in ‘left and never came back.’”

Of course we talked our way through it for a few minutes. He wasn’t
serious. At least, wasn’t serious in considering walking out on his
life. But what he was saying was how tired of the routines and the
mundane of life he has become. This can’t be uncommon in men getting
close to 40 or thereabouts. The word my friend used was “trapped.” In
an email exchange I had with yet another friend in this demographic I
got the following:

“I wake up a lot of days and have the same what I’ll
call malaise. It’s like the new day I’m facing is the exact same day I
had yesterday and tomorrow doesn’t promise to be much different or
better.”

Now that’s just being honest. Who can’t relate to something on the level of Groundhog Day
at least for stretches (for me it tends to be January-March). Neither
of these men would describe the lives as bad or their families as
anything other than a blessing. I’ve known them both for most of my
life and can honestly say that I love them. They’re both very
successful at what they do. But I do wonder what the sum of these
conversations is and what implication it has for the larger culture of
today. In what ways have we both robbed ourselves and, perhaps, been
robbed of adventure—which would seem to be part of the issue at hand.

If you take a moment to consider the various radio commercials you
hear as well as the corporate advertisements seen on television,  but
particularly television sitcoms, the sum of it is that it appears that
masculinity has been lost. There was time when every young boy dreamed
of being Superman. It was reinforced in our heroes, our culture—the
fact is that something was expected; that life demanded
something of you. A boy was expected to look the inevitable storms in
the eye, forge a path through the night and face the darkness, and grow
into significance. This is not commentary on leadership, but on
masculinity. This is how a man bears God’s image. Alas Superman! But
our culture it seems would like nothing more than to tear this image
down. Of course during peace times—times with little to no adversity,
strife, and war—this attribute of masculinity isn’t as vital. The
mistake that’s made, however, is that these times of perceived peace
are just that: perceived. The reality is that we are always at war and
masculinity should always be summoned into the breach of the battles
set before us. These battles tend to call out the best in us.

We need Superman, or what Friedrich Nietzsche referred to as the ubermensch
that overcomes traditional boundaries to rise above the herd. Symptoms
like the conversations I describe above are indicative of a dying
Superman, a Superman robbed of battle and adventure, conditioned to be
content to sit in front of the television on Saturdays and Sundays. But
instead we are moving more and more into a liberal era that continues
to look to external agencies like government for solutions and rescue
instead of the latent heroes within us. There is a Superman within us …
all of us. This, I can’t help but believe, is the essence of the human
condition.

Being a Good Leader

by Glenn McClure

Many men (including myself) in our community have been disillusioned
by poor masculine leadership…many of us are desiring to be better and
more loving leaders…found this in Proverbs this morning…qualities that
make a good Christian leader…Eugene Peterson notes that “transforming
leadership is the kind where the first one transformed is the leader.”

Proverbs 16:10

A good leader motivates, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t exploit.

If you notice, the values that we are learning (embodying) in our
community are helping us become better leaders. We should motivate
others and not mislead or exploit them. Can you imagine this type of
leadership in the workplace? Can you imagine a boss (or being the kind
of boss) who motivates with truth and honesty and desires your (
employee’s) ultimate good? What ripple effect would that have on
companies and careers?

What about at home? The best way I know to motivate my wife is to
serve her. She especially loves acts of service. She loves when I help
clean up the house, do the dishes or make sure the kids are bathed and
put to bed. When I serve my wife this way she lights up like a star.
When she gets “Mommy time” and is able to enjoy solitude and recharge
her batteries-she comes home not feeling mislead and exploited but
cherished.

With my brothers-it is the practice of continued honesty, taking my
turn on the mat, bringing current sin to confession-this keeps me from
misleading or exploiting my friends.

As a father, apologizing to my son and daughters when I sin against
them, deposits in them a gift that Dad is leading and loving with
authenticity and not rhetoric. Bottom line: leading with honest
weakness and current struggle will ensure that I am not exploiting and
misleading the people around me.

Drive Yourself Further

"The man who will drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win." - Roger Bannister (the man who first broke the 4-minute mile mark)

The Great Life

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: . . Let not your heart be troubled."

John 14:27

Whenever
a thing becomes difficult in personal experience, we are in danger of
blaming God, but it is we who are in the wrong, not God, there is some
perversity somewhere that we will not let go. Immediately we do,
everything becomes as clear as daylight. As long as we try to serve two
ends, ourselves and God, there is perplexity. The attitude must be one
of complete reliance on God. When once we get there, there is nothing
easier than living the saintly life; difficulty comes in when we want
to usurp the authority of the Holy Spirit for our own ends.

Whenever you obey God, His seal is always that of peace, the
witness of an unfathomable peace, which is not natural, but the peace
of Jesus. Whenever peace does not come, tarry till it does or find out
the reason why it does not. If you are acting on an impulse, or from a
sense of the heroic, the peace of Jesus will not witness; there is no
simplicity or confidence in God, because the spirit of simplicity is
born of the Holy Ghost, not of your decisions. Every decision brings a
reaction of simplicity.

My questions come whenever I cease to obey. When I have
obeyed God, the problems never come between me and God, they come as
probes to keep the mind going on with amazement at the revelation of
God. Any problem that comes between God and myself springs out of
disobedience; any problem, and there are many, that is alongside me
while I obey God, increases my ecstatic delight, because I know that my
Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this
thing.

by Oswald Chambers
taken from "My Utmost For His Highest" daily devotional book.

Andre Agassi Open

In the last month, two of the sports figures I've admired most as a casual sports-a-holic, have had 'coming out' parties.  One was forced upon him - Tiger Woods.  I'll probably write a post about him later.  For now, I want to focus on Andre Agassi.  The latest chapter in his story ends happily (which is how I think Tiger's will end too).  No news article summarizes how I feel more than this one from Rick Reilly.  I hope you'll read it. 

I first saw Andre in one of his first tournaments at age 16.  He went to the semi-finals and lost to McEnroe there, but I've been a fan of his ever since.  As a tennis player, I admired his return game.  And now, in real life, his return from a seemingly hopeless situation is inspiring.

I plan on reading "Open" by Andre Agassi over Christmas break. 

Thanks Andre - for modeling hope and true manhood in the face of no hope and adversity.

Wisdom and Thanksgiving

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. -- Epictetus

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. -- Albert Schweitzer

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. -- Marcel Proust

None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.
-- Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. Therefore it tends to become the best. It takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best. -- Wallace D. Wattles

What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it--would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. -- Ralph Marston

The Magic of Thinking Big

Excerpt from Dan Miller, 48 Days Newsletter:

"I don't know of anything that can inspire, encourage, motivate and release a higher level of success than reading good books. Many books are worth re-reading. Here's one written in 1959 that I like to read at least once every year. In his little classic book, The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz provides 5 simple actions to help us feel more confident and accomplish more:

1. Be a front seater. Sitting up front builds confidence.

2. Practice eye contact. Looking the other person in the eye tells him, I'm honest and confident."

3. Walk 25% faster. Psychologists link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes towards oneself, work and the people around us. The extremely beaten people, the real down-and-outers, just shuffle and stumble along. They have zero confidence. The walk of a confident person tells the world, "I've got someplace important to go, something important to do." Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster and feel self-confidence grow.

4. Practice speaking up. As you speak up, you add to your confidence. It's a confidence building vitamin.

5. Smile big. Try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time. You can't do it. A big smile gives confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency.

Lou Holtz says he was given this book as a 47 yr.-old unemployed high school coach. It transformed his thinking. He listed 100 things he wanted to do before he died. Last I heard he had accomplished 97 of those goals. I wonder what it could do for you.

Joy

I have a couple of guys I meet with on a regular basis. We've been checking in lately with each other with an emotion that we're feeling right then.  The emotion choices are: Fear, Joy, Anger and Sadness.  We have to pick one and explain why.  We get right to the heart of the issues of our lives.  Needless to say, I'm grateful for these guys and the conversations we have usually impact me for hours or days afterwards. 

Today, I felt joy.  When you say 'joy', usually not much more needs to be said after that.  This time the guys asked me why I felt joy?  I said I was joyful because I was happy with the decisions I had been making lately.  I went on to describe that I felt joyful also because I was letting more things go and not putting too much pressure on myself.  I have fewer goals and that's helped me. 

As I thought about it later in the car on the way home, I began to ask myself.  What is real joy? Is it the joy we feel about ourselves?  Or is it the Joy of the Lord, as mentioned in the bible?  What is true joy?  I can't say that I've felt true joy very often.  Rare.  When I do, it's usually full of love, not a care in the world and an overall burdenless or light feeling.  I can say what I'm feeling is on the path to true joy though.  On the way to joy.  I'd rather be on the way to joy than anger, sadness or fear. 

Invest

"The more you invest in others, the more right you have to speak into their lives." - Anita Williams

Defeat

"No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality." 

Today

Today I am grateful for all those things that go missing because their absence reminds me of how blessed I am to have had them at all. - Kate Nowak

Here Comes Goodbye

In 2003, I was introduced to a guy by my best friend from high school.  His name is Clint Lagerberg.


My friend sent me Clint's song demos.  He had this song called “For All You’ve Done” that he had recorded. My wife and I loved it.  

I was working at Word Entertainment at the time heading up the International Division there.  It was a Christian song, so I thought I might be able to help him.  So, I decided to reach out to him.  Little did I know what that call would produce...

I called Clint and eventually spent lots more time talking with him about his career.  He became a friend over the phone.  I'll never forget those talks we had.  He was working what seemed like a dead end job in the Northeast and wanted to come to Nashville.  After a while, I invited him to come visit us.  My wife had a gig that weekend at a showcase and there was a slot open for Clint to perform.  I thought we could do some networking while he was here too and see what happens from there.  We spent several days dreaming about his music and songwriting potential together and introduced him to some people in the industry.  He did a killer job at the showcase too.  As a result of that week, Point of Grace ended up cutting the song “For All You’ve Done” on their record.. 
   

Clint ended up coming to town one or two more times before he made the leap to move here.  He was offered a staff writing position at Word - thanks to Cindy Wilt Colville.  

I left Word in 2004 and Clint and I eventually lost touch a bit.  I started my own company and he kept on writing and producing and playing for Nicole Nordeman a bit.  He ended up getting a publishing deal with one of the biggest country music publishers in town.  He and Chris Sligh (American Idol) co-wrote a song called "Here Comes Goodbye", which eventually became the first radio single from Rascal Flatts new album – a huge deal.  Other than getting a cut on a Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood record, there is no bigger deal than getting a cut - let alone the first radio single - on a Rascal Flatts album.    


Tonight, I watched the single on YouTube for the first time.  Here it is (watch it in HD):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uq3nI11w4g&feature=related

I think it’s so amazing to think that this video wouldn’t have existed without me taking the 
risk of bringing this guy to Nashville, spending hours with him, loving on him and his wife and daughter and helping him get his first break.  I say that with humility - it wasn't because of me, God had it already planned.  I invested in this guy because I was called to and I knew he was super talented.  He's one of those guys that you just know is supposed to be writing, producing and doing creative things.   Of course, I just helped - he did most of the work from there and deserves all the credit he gets.  

What's cool is that, if I hadn't have helped him, the whole chain events wouldn't have happened the way it had.  He wouldn't have written the song with Chris Sligh, Rascal Flatts wouldn't have recorded this song and this video wouldn't even exist.  Who knows how many hundreds thousands of lives would never have been impacted.  



Clint and I keep in touch these days on Facebook and we're both super busy now, so we hardly see each other.  However, when we do, I just feel a love and kinship with him.  He's just a great guy. 

I write this story to hopefully inspire you.  Maybe there is someone you're supposed to help right now or in the future.  What if you unselfishly invested time in them and helped them along the way.  Even if you don't benefit directly from it, if you know you can help someone, do it!!  It's so much more rewarding to think of the chain events that the one unselfish act might spark.  Clint is going to benefit tremendously from this song.  He will get writing opportunities that he may not have had before.  His reputation as a writer and producer have just gone up to a whole 'nother level.  But even greater than that: hundreds of thousands of people are going to benefit as well – financially (publishing company, touring companies, record label executives, companies), emotionally and spiritually (by the message of the song).  That’s amazing to me!  What if I hadn’t done anything and said “I don’t have time for this right now” and only thought of myself and my own time?  It would have been a shame.  

Seeing this video put it all together for me.   


God's Kingdom economy works so much differently than our worldly economy.  Now, looking back, His plans were so much greater than I can even imagine.  I could never have written this script.  Only He could have.  He's rewarded me with a beautiful family, nice home based business, He's protected me from pitfalls and my own mistakes by His grace.  It's actually not because I've done anything to deserve these benefits - I've not.  It's only because of His grace and because of His son, Jesus, loving me so much that He died for me that I can even stand on this earth - let alone have the blessings that I do.

Whew - I hadn't intended to go there with this blog...

The point is...

Is He putting it in your heart to help someone?  If so, do it!  Just watch God do something with that that you could not have imagined.  It took me 6 years to see more completely the impact some unselfish acts have made.  It was so worth it for this feeling I have right now.

Uncomfortable

I was out with a business account last night from the UK.  He is the Managing Director of a major Christian media company there.  He is younger than me and very sharp.  He shared something with me that I won't forget.  

"I never want to be comfortable in my job.  I always want to be in a position where I'm completely out of my comfort zone."

How completely opposite of our nature?!  I have to admit I've been complacent at times - looking for opportunities to be unchallenged.  

But it's in those positions where we are not comfortable and insecure that we learn and grow the most.  

This year, may I also put myself in a position to be completely uncomfortable and insecure.  Why do what I already know to do?  I'm just doing the same thing and remaining stagnant.  If I were a muscle, the same old workout would not produce any better results.  

Thank you, my friend, for sharing something profound with me.  

Failure

"The Hebrews knew that failure was a part of maturing in God. The Greeks used failure as a reason for disqualification. Sadly, in the Church, we often treat one another in this way. This is not God's way. We need to understand that failing does not make us failures. It makes us experienced. It makes us more prepared to be useful in God's Kingdom—if we have learned from it. And that is the most important ingredient for what God wants in His children." - Os Hillman

Time To Make A Decision

Indecision is the greatest thief of opportunity. -- Robert Schuller

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. -- Ben Stein

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion. -- Chinese proverb

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. -- Benjamin Disraeli

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. -- H. Jackson Brown Jr.

There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision. -- The Principles of Psychology 1890