My Boys Need Me Now More Than Ever

I'm heading into that time in every Dad's life where it is getting serious.  My oldest is 10 and my youngest boy is 8.  It's hitting me pretty hard. They need me.  They need me badly. I'm hearing a loud voice screaming inside of me saying "They need me now more than ever."  I'm overwhelmed.  About being the dad my boys really need, I feel a mixture of excitement (this is what I've looked forward to since the day I learned I was having a boy) and fear (I'm not equipped to do this at all...let alone do it right).  Here's an article I recently was pointed to from CNN.com... "The Myth About Boys". 

So, this blog post is really just me expressing my fear and excitement about being that Dad that I hoped I would be when I saw and held my son for the first time.  Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. 

Here we go, boys.  I'm doing my best.  I'm going to say "I'm sorry" a lot because I will mess things up from time to time.  Know that I love you anyway. We're going to have a lot of fun, experiences and adventure together over the next 8-10 years, okay?!!

Here's something I plan to attend in 2010 with Alex, my oldest.  AbbasWay Retreat.

Tales of a Dying Superman

This is a post written Brian Daniel, that I thought was worth sharing.  You can check out his blog by clicking here.  Enjoy the read….I did!

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Small Groupologist Rick Howerton is fond of putting a note of authenticity to what is typically a mundane question when he asks, “How are you doing REALLY?” Recently I had an opportunity to have
lunch with a friend I spent some of my high school and all of my
college years with. Right away I asked him how he was doing, he said
“fine.” There was a pause. The word “really”  hung in the air for a
moment before he added, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think bad thoughts.”

“Like what?”

“Like, ‘I wonder what would happen if I just left.’”

“What do you mean, ‘left’?”

“‘Left’ as in ‘left and never came back.’”

Of course we talked our way through it for a few minutes. He wasn’t
serious. At least, wasn’t serious in considering walking out on his
life. But what he was saying was how tired of the routines and the
mundane of life he has become. This can’t be uncommon in men getting
close to 40 or thereabouts. The word my friend used was “trapped.” In
an email exchange I had with yet another friend in this demographic I
got the following:

“I wake up a lot of days and have the same what I’ll
call malaise. It’s like the new day I’m facing is the exact same day I
had yesterday and tomorrow doesn’t promise to be much different or
better.”

Now that’s just being honest. Who can’t relate to something on the level of Groundhog Day
at least for stretches (for me it tends to be January-March). Neither
of these men would describe the lives as bad or their families as
anything other than a blessing. I’ve known them both for most of my
life and can honestly say that I love them. They’re both very
successful at what they do. But I do wonder what the sum of these
conversations is and what implication it has for the larger culture of
today. In what ways have we both robbed ourselves and, perhaps, been
robbed of adventure—which would seem to be part of the issue at hand.

If you take a moment to consider the various radio commercials you
hear as well as the corporate advertisements seen on television,  but
particularly television sitcoms, the sum of it is that it appears that
masculinity has been lost. There was time when every young boy dreamed
of being Superman. It was reinforced in our heroes, our culture—the
fact is that something was expected; that life demanded
something of you. A boy was expected to look the inevitable storms in
the eye, forge a path through the night and face the darkness, and grow
into significance. This is not commentary on leadership, but on
masculinity. This is how a man bears God’s image. Alas Superman! But
our culture it seems would like nothing more than to tear this image
down. Of course during peace times—times with little to no adversity,
strife, and war—this attribute of masculinity isn’t as vital. The
mistake that’s made, however, is that these times of perceived peace
are just that: perceived. The reality is that we are always at war and
masculinity should always be summoned into the breach of the battles
set before us. These battles tend to call out the best in us.

We need Superman, or what Friedrich Nietzsche referred to as the ubermensch
that overcomes traditional boundaries to rise above the herd. Symptoms
like the conversations I describe above are indicative of a dying
Superman, a Superman robbed of battle and adventure, conditioned to be
content to sit in front of the television on Saturdays and Sundays. But
instead we are moving more and more into a liberal era that continues
to look to external agencies like government for solutions and rescue
instead of the latent heroes within us. There is a Superman within us …
all of us. This, I can’t help but believe, is the essence of the human
condition.

Being a Good Leader

by Glenn McClure

Many men (including myself) in our community have been disillusioned
by poor masculine leadership…many of us are desiring to be better and
more loving leaders…found this in Proverbs this morning…qualities that
make a good Christian leader…Eugene Peterson notes that “transforming
leadership is the kind where the first one transformed is the leader.”

Proverbs 16:10

A good leader motivates, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t exploit.

If you notice, the values that we are learning (embodying) in our
community are helping us become better leaders. We should motivate
others and not mislead or exploit them. Can you imagine this type of
leadership in the workplace? Can you imagine a boss (or being the kind
of boss) who motivates with truth and honesty and desires your (
employee’s) ultimate good? What ripple effect would that have on
companies and careers?

What about at home? The best way I know to motivate my wife is to
serve her. She especially loves acts of service. She loves when I help
clean up the house, do the dishes or make sure the kids are bathed and
put to bed. When I serve my wife this way she lights up like a star.
When she gets “Mommy time” and is able to enjoy solitude and recharge
her batteries-she comes home not feeling mislead and exploited but
cherished.

With my brothers-it is the practice of continued honesty, taking my
turn on the mat, bringing current sin to confession-this keeps me from
misleading or exploiting my friends.

As a father, apologizing to my son and daughters when I sin against
them, deposits in them a gift that Dad is leading and loving with
authenticity and not rhetoric. Bottom line: leading with honest
weakness and current struggle will ensure that I am not exploiting and
misleading the people around me.

The Great Life

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: . . Let not your heart be troubled."

John 14:27

Whenever
a thing becomes difficult in personal experience, we are in danger of
blaming God, but it is we who are in the wrong, not God, there is some
perversity somewhere that we will not let go. Immediately we do,
everything becomes as clear as daylight. As long as we try to serve two
ends, ourselves and God, there is perplexity. The attitude must be one
of complete reliance on God. When once we get there, there is nothing
easier than living the saintly life; difficulty comes in when we want
to usurp the authority of the Holy Spirit for our own ends.

Whenever you obey God, His seal is always that of peace, the
witness of an unfathomable peace, which is not natural, but the peace
of Jesus. Whenever peace does not come, tarry till it does or find out
the reason why it does not. If you are acting on an impulse, or from a
sense of the heroic, the peace of Jesus will not witness; there is no
simplicity or confidence in God, because the spirit of simplicity is
born of the Holy Ghost, not of your decisions. Every decision brings a
reaction of simplicity.

My questions come whenever I cease to obey. When I have
obeyed God, the problems never come between me and God, they come as
probes to keep the mind going on with amazement at the revelation of
God. Any problem that comes between God and myself springs out of
disobedience; any problem, and there are many, that is alongside me
while I obey God, increases my ecstatic delight, because I know that my
Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this
thing.

by Oswald Chambers
taken from "My Utmost For His Highest" daily devotional book.

Quietime Christmas at Walmart.com for $7.00

For a limited time only, Quietime Christmas will be available via Walmart.com for $7.00.  Check it out along with all the other seasonal titles offered.

Of course, you can buy it at Lifeway Christian Stores, Amazon.com, and download it on iTunes too.

Dedication Video for our Daughter

The song was written specifically for our girl, Anthem, and recorded by my wife as a demo. It's called "You Could Only Come From Heaven".

Joy

I have a couple of guys I meet with on a regular basis. We've been checking in lately with each other with an emotion that we're feeling right then.  The emotion choices are: Fear, Joy, Anger and Sadness.  We have to pick one and explain why.  We get right to the heart of the issues of our lives.  Needless to say, I'm grateful for these guys and the conversations we have usually impact me for hours or days afterwards. 

Today, I felt joy.  When you say 'joy', usually not much more needs to be said after that.  This time the guys asked me why I felt joy?  I said I was joyful because I was happy with the decisions I had been making lately.  I went on to describe that I felt joyful also because I was letting more things go and not putting too much pressure on myself.  I have fewer goals and that's helped me. 

As I thought about it later in the car on the way home, I began to ask myself.  What is real joy? Is it the joy we feel about ourselves?  Or is it the Joy of the Lord, as mentioned in the bible?  What is true joy?  I can't say that I've felt true joy very often.  Rare.  When I do, it's usually full of love, not a care in the world and an overall burdenless or light feeling.  I can say what I'm feeling is on the path to true joy though.  On the way to joy.  I'd rather be on the way to joy than anger, sadness or fear. 

Nobody's Got It All Together

Every now and then (almost daily) I need to be reminded that nobody else has it all together - why should I?

NOBODY'S GOT IT ALL TOGETHER
By Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn

Working hard to tie up the loose ends

So hard to decide who you let in

Put your best foot forward with a grin

I can see the fear behind your eyes

Wondering if someone will recognize

You’ve grown tired of keeping up the lies

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause

Nobody’s got it all together

If you want to be like everyone else well

Nobody’s got it all together

I have seen the darkness of my heart

And found a love that taught me its too hard

To walk through life and not let down my guard

What good is it to say please savior come

If there is nothing you need rescue from

Life is something no one has a corner on

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause

Nobody’s got it all together

If you want to be like everyone else well

Nobody’s got it all together

When the parts that are self righteous

Start to disappear

Every other life is

Just another mirror

And life is way too short to run and hide

Don’t whitewash the truth about yourself ‘cause

Nobody’s got it all together

If you want to be like everyone else well

Nobody’s got it all together

(c) 2004 Juvintud Music / St. Jerome Music (ASCAP)

The Ministry of the Unnoticed

Taken from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers

August 21, 2009

"Blessed are the poor in spirit..." - Matthew 5:3

The New Testament notices things that do not seem worthy of notice
by our standards. "Blessed are the poor in spirit . . . ." This
literally means, "Blessed are the paupers." Paupers are remarkably
commonplace! The preaching of today tends to point out a person’s
strength of will or the beauty of his character— things that are easily
noticed. The statement we so often hear, "Make a decision for Jesus
Christ," places the emphasis on something our Lord never trusted. He
never asks us to decide for Him, but to yield to Him— something very
different. At the foundation of Jesus Christ’s kingdom is the genuine
loveliness of those who are commonplace. I am truly blessed in my
poverty. If I have no strength of will and a nature without worth or
excellence, then Jesus says to me, "Blessed are you, because it is
through your poverty that you can enter My kingdom." I cannot enter His
kingdom by virtue of my goodness— I can only enter it as an absolute
pauper.

The true character of the loveliness that speaks for God
is always unnoticed by the one possessing that quality. Conscious
influence is prideful and unchristian. If I wonder if I am being of any
use to God, I instantly lose the beauty and the freshness of the touch
of the Lord. "He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow
rivers of living water" ( John 7:38 ). And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord.

Who
are the people who have influenced us most? Certainly not the ones who
thought they did, but those who did not have even the slightest idea
that they were influencing us. In the Christian life, godly influence
is never conscious of itself. If we are conscious of our influence, it
ceases to have the genuine loveliness which is characteristic of the
touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He
produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring.

Wisdom From Above

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

Sometimes we question if we can discern what is of God and what isn't. If you question whether or not something originates from the wisdom and heart of God, measure it by the descriptors in this passage - pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, good fruits and sincere. Pretty straight-forward.

This is from The Daily Verse. 

Get in the Game

Trained for War

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman

Tuesday, May 19 2009

"Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers 

for battle" (Psalm 144:1)

You'll never experience God in powerful ways by acquiring Bible knowledge

alone. It is only when that knowledge is used in the heat of battle that

you will know the reality of what you've learned intellectually. Otherwise,

it remains only an exercise in spiritual gymnastics that yields little

fruit.

David became a great warrior and leader of a nation at an early age. His

training ground was his job as a shepherd in the open fields. When bears

and lions sought to take his sheep, he personally fought them. This was 

his early preparation for future battles. Goliath was the real competition

amongst a discerning audience to reveal how well his training prepared 

him.

Today, our local churches often look more like luxury cruise liners

designed to tickle the ears, entertain its members and make them feel good

instead of a battleship designed to train an army for war. The average

member still watches from the sideline.

In sports you discover how well you handle pressure by competing. You can

practice all you want but never know how you will do until you enter the

game and test what you've learned and practiced when there is pressure

added to the equation. In battle you discover how well you are trained by

what you actually do on the battlefield.

Have you ever prayed with someone in public? Have you ever personally led

someone to Christ? Have you ever served others for the sake of the Gospel?

Have you ever taught a Bible study? If you said no to these questions, you

are not engaged in the game. Today, why not ask God to give you the grace

to step onto the battlefield.

Plans of Tomorrow

The Plans of Tomorrow

By Os Hillman, May 13, 2009

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You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. - James 4:14b

A group of workplace believers meet at my office every week for fellowship, study, and prayer. One man attended our group for several years. Jim was well liked and in good health. One Thursday he showed up as usual. The next morning I received a call, "Jim is dead! He died in his easy chair last night!" Jim had no prior problems and there was no indication he was about to go be with the Lord. Naturally, it came as a shock to us all.

Whenever things like this happen close to home, it brings us face to face with our mortality. A friend of mine said he was challenged by someone to do an experiment. He challenged him to live his life for one year as if it were the last year he would live. He responded to the challenge and did as proposed. It changed his life forever. He began to focus on different priorities and people when he viewed life in these terms.

James gives us a perspective on viewing tomorrow.

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that" (James 4:13-15).

Life is fragile. Consider where you are investing your time and energies. Someone once said they had never heard anyone on his deathbed say that he wished he had made more money in his lifetime or he wished he had made a certain deal. Usually it is something like, "I wish I had spent more time with my kids." Ask the Lord to give you His priorities for your life.

A Fleeting Shadow

A Fleeting Shadow

By Os Hillman, May 12, 2009

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Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow. - Psalm 144:4

Every time I fly over a large body of water, I imagine opening the window of the jet and pouring out my coffee into the immense body of water below. I imagine the time that I spend on this earth compared to eternity is no more than that cup of coffee. The incredible size of the ocean compared to one small cup of coffee is what our life is like compared to eternity. Why then do we invest so much in temporal pursuits when we know that our investment here can have so much impact on our eternity? It is the great paradox of human behavior, especially for Christians.

Does your business life have an overall ministry objective to it? This does not mean we must be constantly involved in "Christian activity." It only means that we should be about what God has called us to do with the motive of being obedient to this mission. Do not let the worries and cares of this life keep you from having an eternal impact on the lives of those you meet each day. Satan has a way of keeping our focus on the problems of today rather than the spiritual opportunities before us. He is master of the urgent, not the important.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Change Habits for 10 Bucks

Changing Besetting Habits-The $10 Challenge

By Os Hillman, May 7, 2009

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Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin." - John 8:34

"I hate being late," my friend lamented. "It has been a problem for me all my life."

"Do you really want to change that?" I asked.

"Yes, I do."

"All right. Every time you are late to work or anywhere else where you have committed to be at a particular time you must give me $25."

"No way!" my friend responded. "I would go broke! But I will do $10."

"All right, $10 it is. It has to be a large enough amount of money for it to hurt your pocketbook."

"Believe me, that will hurt," my friend said. About a month later my friend found great motivation to be on time to every place she had to be. In the first week, I got only $10 from my friend. The next week, $20. The third week, nothing. By the fifth week, my friend had changed a lifelong habit that had hindered her all her life. In order for my friend not to be resentful of me for the money she had to give, we put it in a jar to be given to some other Christian cause. This ensured my motive was only for her best interest.

Some might be reading this now and say it is legalism. For my friend it was freedom. For the first time she had some means of changing a behavior that had caused her problems in relationships and her own work habits. Psychologists tell us that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So, if you need to change some habit, you need to be actively engaged in that new behavior at least 21 days. My friend needed help to change a habit she didn't like about herself. It took another individual to hold her accountable, and it took a potential loss of something to provide the added incentive.

A successful businessman was experiencing a difficult marriage. When counseling the couple over dinner one night, a friend of mine noticed that the man often criticized his wife. After further counsel it was determined the man simply could not love his wife. My friend asked him if he truly wanted to see change in his marriage. When the man said he did, my friend said, "Every time you criticize your wife you must agree to give me $100." This man was well-off and needed substantial incentive to change his behavior. After the man rebelled and retorted, he agreed in front of his wife. A few weeks later a report came back that things were changing. This man did not want to write any checks to my friend. Although it was a competitive game to the man, it was also yielding some positive changes in his marriage. He began to acquire the habit of avoiding criticism of his wife, which was killing her spirit.

What are the habits that keep you from becoming all that God may want you to become? Do you desire change enough to be accountable in a way that it costs you something when you fail? Ask a friend to hold you accountable in an area that needs change. You will find new freedom as you conquer old besetting habits.

 

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For God is not a God of confusion but of peace

From "The Daily Verse"...

"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace."

- 1 Corinthians 14:33a

If you're looking for God to show you something clearly, don't over-pollute what He's showing you with the thoughts and reasoning of your own mind. God has given you a mind to use, and at the same time, He has given you the Holy Spirit to help, guide and discern what is of Him and what is of the flesh. Use both, but rely most on the unchanging nature of God to ultimately guide you in the way that you should go.

I Wish I Was Rich

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.

Romans 8:7

Just this morning, I thought to myself, "I wish I was rich." The more I thought about it, the more I thought that, though it would be nice to live even more comfortably and have more nice things and be able to give away more than I do, my mind being set on such things could be part of my human resistance to intimacy with God. Let us be reminded, first and foremost, to set our minds on the things of the Spirit. From that will come blessings more valuable than anything our flesh could long for.

Good Friday (Isaiah 52:13 - 53:12)

Isaiah 52:13

The Sin-Bearing Servant

    ¹³ Behold, My Servant shall deal prudently; 
      He shall be exalted and extolled and be very high. 
       ¹⁴ Just as many were astonished at you, 
      So His visage was marred more than any man, 
      And His form more than the sons of men; 
       ¹⁵ So shall He sprinkle many nations. 
      Kings shall shut their mouths at Him; 
      For what had not been told them they shall see, 
      And what they had not heard they shall consider. 

Isaiah 53

 ¹ Who has believed our report?
      And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? 
       ² For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, 
      And as a root out of dry ground. 
      He has no form or comeliness; 
      And when we see Him, 
      There is no beauty that we should desire Him. 
       ³ He is despised and rejected by men, 
      A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. 
      And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; 
      He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 
       ⁴ Surely He has borne our griefs 
      And carried our sorrows; 
      Yet we esteemed Him stricken, 
      Smitten by God, and afflicted. 
       ⁵ But He was wounded for our transgressions, 
      He was bruised for our iniquities; 
      The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, 
      And by His stripes we are healed. 
       ⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray; 
      We have turned, every one, to his own way; 
      And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. 
       ⁷ He was oppressed and He was afflicted, 
      Yet He opened not His mouth; 
      He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, 
      And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, 
      So He opened not His mouth. 
       ⁸ He was taken from prison and from judgment, 
      And who will declare His generation? 
      For He was cut off from the land of the living; 
      For the transgressions of My people He was stricken. 
       ⁹ And they made His grave with the wicked— 
      But with the rich at His death, 
      Because He had done no violence, 
      Nor was any deceit in His mouth. 
       ¹⁰ Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; 
      He has put Him to grief. 
      When You make His soul an offering for sin, 
      He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, 
      And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand. 
       ¹¹ He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied. 
      By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many, 
      For He shall bear their iniquities. 
       ¹² Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, 
      And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, 
      Because He poured out His soul unto death, 
      And He was numbered with the transgressors, 
      And He bore the sin of many, 
      And made intercession for the transgressors.

Taken from New King James Version - www.biblegateway.com

Rest

This is one I'm still learning...

Subject: The Daily Verse on Rest - March 26, 2009

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:29,30

If you're working really hard to please God and impress others, consider the passage above. Rather than working yourself toward perfection, receive the gift of Christ and let Him teach you how to carry his yoke and burden. Rather than grinding toward your self-imposed version of living right, your actions will simply be an outpouring of what's going on inside.

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Living a Life of Conviction

Living a Life of Conviction

By Os Hillman, March 26, 2009

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For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. - 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5a

Everyone lives a life of conviction. Whatever we give our greatest time, our greatest energies, and our greatest resources to is a good indication of where our convictions lie. Some live a life of conviction about sports. Some live a life of conviction around pleasure. Still others live a life of conviction about very little that matters at all.

Whenever God chooses to do a deep work in a life, a strong conviction is born of the Holy Spirit. Conversions in the early Church resulted in changed lives that held to a deep, life-transforming conviction regarding what they believed and how they lived out that belief. Paul explains that the gospel they received came not just in words, but also in power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.

In order to impact the workplace for Jesus Christ, each of us must be reflecting a faith that is demonstrated through deeply held convictions. Are you living a life of deep conviction that spurs you on to reflect the power of Christ in your life and the lives of others? Paul was willing to suffer great persecution for his faith in a living God. God calls each of us to a life that is supernatural, not simply a good, moral life. The early Church understood the role the Holy Spirit played in demonstrating this power of the gospel. It was this deep work that resulted in living the gospel with great conviction. If you are not living the gospel with great conviction, ask the Holy Spirit to so fill your life today that the power of His Spirit is truly reflected in your life so that you may impact others in your workplace.

 

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God Speaking

"For this is he who was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah when he said, The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord; make his paths straight."

Matthew 3:3

Leading up to this point in Matthew, it's been mentioned several times that prophesies have been fulfilled. Let that remind us that even when circumstances point you to doubt, when God says something, He means it and intends for it to be fulfilled.

Taken from "The Daily Verse"